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Attention: Landlords of Crappy Tenants!
“Local House Buying Company Announces Plan
To Buy As Many Single Family Homes As Possible
In The Next 30 Days! Yours Could Be Next!”
Date: March 31, 2019
Time: To Get Rid Of That Annoying Property
From: A Willing Landlord … (Willing to put up with your headache tenants that you’re over with?)
Dear Sick & Tired,
This letter is going out to all of Metro Phoenix’s landlords of which unfortunately you are one. I say “unfortunately” because I feel bad for the average “House-Renter-Outer.” I wouldn’t wish that suffering on my worst enemy.
Let me ask you a question, Mr. Landlord – On a pain scale from 1 to 10, one being “it tickles” and ten being “I feel like someone is sticking bicycle spokes in my eyes while simultaneously singing an annoying Barbara Streisand song in my ear”, how would you rate your current landlording experience?
That’s what I thought.
Aren’t you sick and tired of dealing with bad tenants who pay their rent on time about as often as it
snows in Hawaii? How much do you enjoy the eviction process? About as much as a visit from your mother in law? Worse? Is it fun cleaning up after they leave? Spending all your previous year’s positive cash flow on repairs so you can put a new crappy tenant in who will stiff you and wreck your place all over again? Do you even have positive cash flow? Most don’t.
Landlording can suck BIG TIME! Deep down, you know it too. Right? But knowing is not enough. You have to do something about it. Right?